I always wonder what you would say to me if you gained the guts to ever face me again. You claim to hate me which makes my muscles tense. I wish i could know what you do everyday like i used to, but i don't know why i want to know. I think it's an ego thing. I wish you would act upon the feeling you get every time you look at me, cause i know you want to. I know you have the ability to feel, even though you refuse to. You're different with me. I scare you because i make you feel something that you never have before. Get over it, cause we could be great together. Give in, cause i'm getting impatient and i think you can tell. Or maybe you're just an idiot. I always think about the reason why certain people come into your life for only a certain amount of time, and why certain people stay. Is it designed that way? There has to be a map, or a guideline of some sort. You think people are gone and then they return. You think people will be there forever and then they disappear. There must be a plan. I live for the times when you think something is concrete and you finally have it figured out, only to turn the corner and be completely caught off guard. Months of silence go by, and your head does nothing but wonder. But then you see their face, and you find yourself just as broken as the day they walked away. There's always an acknowledgment though, that one moment where you know if there is hope for something or if it's a lost cause. Something will click, experiences will string together, and you'll know. Even when you think you will never know, when you feel so stuck and lost you can't even breathe normally; the moment will come. I've come to realize that when i don't spend every spare second in my head worrying, overanalyzing and thinking about things to the very core...i get what i want. and i'm happy. and i don't have to force myself to be. wasting my time constantly thinking about things makes my days even more exhausting than they already are. whats meant to touch your life will, on its own time.
