I am currently hosting my beautiful baby brother's 17th birthday party at my home.
Twelve 17 year old young adults sitting around my dining room table.
eating pizza. sour cream and cheddar ruffles. playing games. laughing hysterically. so innocent. so fun.
I am sitting in the other room, twice their age and admiring from afar, at the joy of being in high school. when everything feels concrete and a tornado at the same time. two days feels like two years to them. its so safe. I can't help but wish they could stay in this moment forever.
I wonder if this is what moms feel when their babies start to grow. i'm sure it is.
he was born February 14, 2007 and the very next day, I got my drivers license on my 16th birthday.
driving to the hospital in my white scion tc (what i believed was the coolest car of the mid 2000's might I add) to meet this beautiful new angel among us. raising him with my mother has also been concrete and a tornado at the same time. my heart divided the day he was born, he truly feels like mine at times. I left for college when he was two and a half, my blonde blue-eyed baby. but 15 years later, he now feels like my brother. so sure of himself. so deliciously flamboyant and confident. I knew these days would come eventually. but I can still close my eyes and see that bright blonde hair, those big blue eyes staring up at me, I will forever be his "Emi."
I have dreamt of this day.
