you have stolen something from me. you will always have little pieces of my youth and my innocence and i will probably never speak to you again. you taught me what it was like to fall in and out of love. you were the most unhealthy addiction i've ever had and parts of me still wonder how you are sometimes, when the weather is cold and my lips are red. i remember sweet words and feelings that i hadn't known before. we were everything and more to each other and it was wonderful and tumultuous and terribly beautiful. i hope it's nice where you are and i am sorry for making you give up on love.
Dear Two,
you are my biggest mistake thus far. I should never have given up on you, you are the greatest man i know. the way you loved all of me was scary to me and i was stuck in between worlds. you taught me what i deserve. i think of you with everything i see and do. you are the taste of my favorite drink and the feeling of warmth. i am so comfortable. you are passion and love embodied and probably the love of my life. we should be together and i have faith that one day we will again. we are the epitome my most revealing secret. i ache for you at night and leave room for you in my heart. everything about you, i love. and want. and need.
Dear Three,
you are the best sex i have ever had. you were my first and only orgasm. you were a whirlwind of sex and drugs and fun. you are what the typical college experience is. i loved your arms and your length and the way your hands made me shake. i was your muse and you taught me the meaning of casual. i will always remember the taste of your tongue and the long nights we endured.
Dear Four,
you had me fooled for a while. your stupidity and immaturity was captivating and i loved that i could call you at any hour i pleased. you got me to believe that i was unworthy and for that, you despise me. you never kissed me during sex and you aren't as great as you think. i liked you a lot and enjoyed our nude sundays and awkward mornings, but now i think you are disgusting. you walk my way and look me up and down and all i can do is laugh. i have never been begged for by another the way you do, it's kind of pathetic.
