sweat

Today i lit a thousand candles in my apartment's living room and i meditated to pandora's "calm meditation" with my roommate. It felt great. Maybe this is God's way of telling me i need to slow down, all the things that have happened to me these past two weeks are a sign. This past weekend i have done nothing but lie in my bed and think. My mind has wandered to places i didn't even know it wanted to wander to, but i really liked it. I laid on the floor with my palms up and tied a scarf over my eyes, and all i did was breathe. It is now 2:45 in the morning, i just woke up drenched in sweat and went to the kitchen and ate some little bite chocolate chip muffins. I'm in a surprisingly great mood but i know i have to go back to sleep. This next week off of school and work is going to be long but i'm hoping i can get a lot of shit done. I want to read the books i bought at Border's last week, all of them. I want to paint my nails and toes and shave my legs.
The rash on my neck and face is slowly getting better, as is my paralysis. I think i'll be better within the next 4 or 5 days. It really feels alot better and i'm thankful. I keep imagining my face back to normal and i think the visualization is helping. I really fucking miss my mom man.
Back to dreamland. This writing thing really, really helps. I feel electric.